
Morbid? Yep. Rude? If the occasion calls for it. Brutally honest? You bet. I really hope you didn't come here expecting flowers and frills, because that's not what you'll find. This is who I am, and I offer no apologies for what I think and how I feel. I'm not asking you to love me, or even respect me; allow me the freedom to exist and be myself and may the same be given in return. I know the difference between reality and fantasy, do you? I'm firmly planted in the soil of reality, are you?
"A poor fool indeed is he who adapts a manner of thinking for others! My manner of thinking stems straight from my considered reflections; it holds with my existence, with the way I am made. It is not in my power to alter it; and were it, I'd not do so."
~ Marquis de Sade, 1783
Looking back over the past quarter, and rereading the poetry assignments I have completed, I am pleased to say that there are many I am satisfied with. Over all, there isn't one that I dislike, but I do have my favorites. "My Generation" was at the very top of my favorite list, because it expresses a lot of what I feel, in that my generation is very close to taking over as the leaders of the world. Instead of complaining about what's wrong with the world, it is our responsibility to try and fix things, and make life better for our children's generation. Resolution of problems must start somewhere. I also like "I Don't Need You", because it is something most everyone can relate to --getting hurt by someone you loved-- and it helped me deal with some of the ghosts that always seem to haunt me at this time of year regarding situations in the past. It seems all of my relationships end horribly; writing it down helps in dealing with it. The clerihew about Rob Zombie is also among my favorites, only because he's one of my heroes and very influential in my writing and prose.
I struggled with the form poems and the villanelle, because I don't like a lot of structure in my writing. I like being able to do it my way and break the rules if I feel like it. Forcing words to rhyme gets very messy when you have a particular message you want to get across to your readers. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm dissatisfied with how the poems turned out, but they don't make a whole lot of sense as they are -- more like random descriptive words put on a paper to inspire pretty mental images than true poetry that tells a story. They seem to prattle on senselessly without real direction or focus, as loose strings tied on one end to an anchor, but flapping wildly in the wind.
As already stated -- I learned that I don't like a whole lot of structure and guidelines when I write. I want to be able to write what I please without being forced to live up to expectations or rules. I tend to focus on morbid and macabre things for a reason -- people want to be scared and grossed out, the reason why we have horror movies. I really enjoy getting a reaction from readers; disgust, shock, etc. Anyone can write love poetry, but it's a little more difficult to artfully make someone ill with words. Above and beyond everything else, the poetry unit helped me realize how much I love story writing as opposed to poetry. I feel I can convey emotion and meaning a lot better in a story than in poetry form.